They’re Family—But They Don’t Have to Support You

In this episode, we explore the complicated truth about family and support. Many of us grow up believing that our family should be our biggest cheerleaders—the ones who understand our dreams, show up for our growth, and walk beside us as we evolve. But the reality is often different, and it can hurt when the people we love the most aren’t able to support us in the ways we hoped.

I break down why family not showing up doesn’t mean they don’t love you—it simply means they’re navigating their own lives, their own challenges, and trying to survive in their own way. There is no rule that says family has to support our goals, our ambitions, or our purpose. And the expectations we place on them often lead to disappointment that was never theirs to carry.

We talk about what it looks like to release those expectations, accept the love they can offer, and stop demanding emotional currency they may not have to give. And most importantly, we explore how empowering it is to surround yourself with people who do see you, believe in you, and help you grow—your chosen circle, your aligned community.

If you’ve ever felt the sting of unmet support or struggled with family expectations, this episode reminds you to love them as they are, not as you wish they would be, and to give yourself permission to build the community that truly elevates you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of TK Conversations. This is a space that enables honest dialogue, but it meets your personal growth and evolution. So we touch upon those silent struggles that we have that are actually holding us back and keeping us stuck. And I always like to provide that space for everyone to be comfortable, including myself. So when I say everyone be comfortable, I need you to also understand that I'm going to need you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable because we are going to rattle some feathers. There are going to be some things that I say that make you completely uncomfortable. And the purpose of that is to push you forward so you have forward momentum so we can get you unstuck. So we can break the habit of being who you are. And that is a great book. If anyone has not read it, please check out Joe Dispensa's Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I promise you will love it. Now, with that being said, today's topic is gonna be uncomfortable. It's gonna rattle some feathers for sure. So today we're talking about family. Yes, family. So when we think about family, we think they're our backbone, they support us, they're there for us through thick and thin. And I'm gonna break that right now. Just because they're family does not mean that they are any of that that I just listed. Just because they're family doesn't mean they have to be any of that that I just listed. See what happens as us as being humans, and sometimes people say common sense or that's just the way it is. No, it's not common sense, and no, it's not just the way it is. Family is a title, and that is it. Now, what comes beyond that family member is what they choose to do and what they choose to provide other family members, but that does not mean they are required to do that. So, as everyone sit here and listen to this podcast, think of that family member you have, and we all have them. We're gonna be honest. We all have them. There's a family member that deep down in your heart, you want them to support you, you want them to be there for you, and they're not. Now, you've either expressed to them that you want them to be there for you and support you, or you haven't. It's one or the other. Now, let's say that you have expressed to them that you want them to support you and they just don't. Okay, they're on their own journey in their own life, and maybe they're just not able to support you at that moment, but do not build up the expectation that that is what they will automatically do. Because when you do that, you are setting your own self up for failure. You are setting yourself up to be hurt every single time because you're putting an expectation on that individual that is not able to deliver that. Now, let me give you the other side of the coin. Let's say that you've expressed to that family member that you do need their support, that you want their support, and they should just automatically be given that support because they're your family member. And they're capable of giving the support. They just have absolutely no interest in giving it to you. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Keep that in mind because your goals, your dreams, whatever it is that you're doing in life, your career, no matter what it is. You could be an entertainer, you could be an author, you could be a data entry clerk. It does not matter. That is your goal, that is your dream, that is your life, that is your journey. They do not have to support you, no matter what the title is. Mother, father, sister, brother, grandmother, they are not required to support you. Please keep that in mind. Now, I'm not saying that it doesn't hurt that they don't support you because I mean, who wouldn't want their family to support them? And I'm talking about your immediate family, those that you are really close to. Having support goes a very long way with us, and it goes a long way for us, but having support does not dictate how we move. You are required to move based on your goals, based on your dreams, based on what it is that you want to achieve in life, and no one is responsible for that but you. So, regardless if you get the support or not from family, you have to support you. You must be your own support, just like you have to hold yourself accountable. That's a whole nother topic there, but I want to throw that out there because a lot of times when we think about family and them being our support system and being there for us, we also think of them as holding us accountable. No one can hold you accountable. You have to hold yourself accountable for what you do and what you don't do, and look at yourself in the mirror and say, Hey, I didn't do what I was supposed to do today. I need to make sure I do that. Now, support, yeah, can help, but you cannot rely on them. You have to depend and rely on yourself and not your family members. And and family's great. Don't get me wrong. I love minds to death, but when I talk to you, I speak to you from experience, and I don't want you to go down that road that I've been down. I can tell you a whole strategy on getting family to support you and putting in all your time and effort to turn around and not get anything in return. And you don't want to go through that. Don't hurt yourself, don't set yourself up for failure and disappointment because your loved one is not supporting you the way that you need to be supported. Now, here's another one. Let's say that that family member does support you, but it's not the way you need to be supported. So, since they're on board and they're supporting you, what you need to do is let them know exactly how you need to be supported. Because on their end, they're thinking, I'm going all in, I'm doing everything that I need to do. They know that I'm their rock, their ride or die. I support them to the fullest. That's how they're feeling, but you don't feel that at all. So that means you need to let them know how you need to be supported, what support feels like to you. And then allow them to make that adjustment and give them a little bit of grace in making that adjustment. And if they're not able to, that's okay too. Allow them to continue to support the way they're supporting. But I promise you, they're gonna be okay with you sharing with them how you need to be supportive because they're already supporting you. That's key. And now for those individuals that do not support you, you have to let them be. Remember, everybody cannot take this journey with you. Everybody is not supposed to take this journey with you, and it's it's a hard pill to swallow if you think about, man, I'm on this journey and my dad can't come with me. That hurts. But if your dad does not support you, he can't come with you. You love your dad and respect your dad and have your dad where he's at, but that's where he's at. He doesn't take that journey with you. Not being harsh, being real. Because if you pull your dad along and he does not support you, you are holding yourself back and you're doing yourself a disservice because you're gonna constantly be trying to get him to move and he's not moving. Don't do that. And I said dad, it could be any family member, anything like that. But I want you to keep in mind you're never alone, you are abundant, and you have everything that you need to achieve whatever it is that you're trying to achieve. You it just has to be activated, it's already within you, and in order for it to be activated, you have to surround yourself with like-minded individuals, you have to surround yourself with those individuals that can help you in your forward momentum, that can help you elevate as you go through your journey, as you grow and evolve. And that is not the definition of a family member. That does not mean that those individuals need to be a family member, and that's where we get caught up at. Let me throw this in here. That does not mean that it's your best friend. That person you went to college, wouldn't you guys have been friends for umpteen years, or that individual that you grew up with, and you've been friends for so many years. That does not mean they take that journey with you. There's categories for people in your life, and what we do as humans, we want to put them in the category that we want them in, and they don't belong in that category because they don't fit. That doesn't mean that you don't love them, that doesn't mean that they can't support you, that just means they are not that for what you need at that moment, and you have to let them be. You have to let them be, and you have to continue to move forward as I go through this whole thing. It just brings up things in me internally. They don't hurt me or weigh me down, but I will be completely transparent. I would love for my family to support me. 100% love it. Do they know? Now that's me keeping it real. TK is keeping it real. Do they support me? Absolutely not. And they may even listen to this podcast. I hope they do because maybe it'll shake something up in them and turn a light bulb on because I want them to have forward momentum and I want them to be the best versions of themselves. And that's all that I talk about. I want them to be that. And although they can't be that for me, they can be that for themselves because I got me. Now, I do have some family members because I'm not gonna put them all in a box. I do have a couple that do support me no matter what, nonstop. I have individuals that are not my family that support me nonstop. But those that are the closest to me that you would say, they automatically support her. They're there for her. That's a no. And I'm okay with that because I know that they're on their own journeys, I know that they are just trying to survive, I know that they are living their own lives, so there is nothing wrong with that whatsoever. So I have them in that category that they're supposed to be in, and that way I receive all the love that they give me, and I feel it from them all the time. They're just not on this journey with me in where I'm going and providing the support that I need that will help me along the way. That's it. So remember, family is family no matter what. That's their title. But they're not entitled. And we could go down a rabbit hole with this because depending on where you are in your life, some athletes I work with, some entertainers I work with, some artists. If you are an artist with a successful career, your career is going well, that doesn't mean your sister gets to come along. If your sister is not that support or that person that you need, that doesn't entitle them to the success that you have had. And I know that's a harsh one, but that's the reality. Just because they have a title does not make them entitled. Keep that in mind. Love is love, and all we have is love, is what I believe, and that's what I feel, and I radiate love every single moment. I just want us to truly understand that when we are dealing with family, do not put expectations on them to let ourselves down. If they are not able to be what you need them to be, just allow them to be because you're putting pressure on yourself and them, and neither one of you deserves it. Allow them to love you as they love you and move forward. I know this was a deep, deep episode, and I'm sure it probably cut a little people, made people feel a little bit uncomfortable, and I'm hoping it did because I wanted to, because I only wanted to shake you up so that you can move forward and be that better version, like I mentioned earlier. Always shine bright, always do deep dives within yourself. And as you listen to this, if you have thought, oh yeah, I'm that family member that I'm not being supportive, and I know that I can be supportive, ask yourself why. Why are you not being that? Why are you not able to be that? And remember, it's about you, it's not about the family member, it's always about us because we have to show up as the best version of ourselves, and we have to learn how to do that. And it starts with who we are. If you haven't heard that episode, please go back and listen to it. Who are you? Listen to that episode. So I leave you with today thinking about are you the best version of yourself? And are you that support for another individual? Can you be that support for another individual? And if the answer is no, that's okay. I need you to be the support for yourself. Are you loving and supporting yourself? So that is the assignment I leave you with. Are you supporting yourself the way you need to? If not, I need you to work on that until next time. See you later. Allow your light to shine bright. Thank you for tuning in to TK Conversations.