The Day You Don’t Feel Like It - And Why It Matters Most

In this episode, we talk about those days when life is heavy, energy is low, and showing up for yourself feels harder than it should. I break down what happens when you’ve made commitments to your growth, your wellness, or your personal evolution—but you wake up and simply don’t feel like doing any of it. We’ve all been there.

We explore why putting yourself first is not selfish, but essential. When you honor your own needs, you don’t take away from others—you become a stronger, more grounded version of yourself for everyone around you. And while skipping one day might seem harmless, we also unpack how one day can quietly snowball into several, leaving you disconnected from the very progress you’ve been working toward.

If you’ve ever struggled to stay consistent, felt guilty for prioritizing yourself, or found yourself slipping into a pattern you didn’t intend, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and the reminder that choosing yourself—especially on the hard days—is where real self-leadership begins.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Thank you for joining me for another episode of TK Conversations. I appreciate everyone being here today and tuning in. I may sound a little raspy today, and actually that's what today's episode's about. One of those days, just one of those days. That made me think of Monica's song. One of those days that a girl goes through. But no, that's not what we're what we're doing today. It is one of those days, but it's one of those days that everybody goes through. I do not care how you identify, none of that matters because we all deal with the same emotions that turn into feelings that then cause us to have action or do no action. And doing nothing is technically an action. So one of those days for me was that I started early this morning. I had a dentist appointment, didn't go as I expected. Nothing bad. I just didn't anticipate the work that would have to have been done. And now that it's over, it's completed. Come home, record my podcast, and publish it. That didn't happen. I think I was so sedated, it was hard for me to even function. So I had to come home, take pain pills, and take a nap. And a nap turned into, oh my gosh, six or seven hours of sleep. So two good things. Work was done. And then obviously I got the rest that I needed. But I am still a little tender. My mouth is still a little numb. Things still feel swollen in there, although they're not. But that's partially why I sound the way I sound, um, because of all of that. But the whole purpose behind this is one of those days, those days that you absolutely do not feel like it, no matter what. And you try your best to push yourself to take action, and you're in the midst right there of do I or do I not? What do I do? It's not gonna hurt if I just sit here or lay here a little longer. It's just one day. If I miss one day, it's okay because I'll get back on top of it the following day. I am here to tell you that that one day means absolutely everything. That one day that you miss is the start of you missing, of you not taking action. So, as easy as it is to say it's just one day, no big deal, I'll jump back on it. And some people are resilient like that, and they can, but why break the cycle? If you've already been doing it, and I am speaking for myself at this moment, I have some new plans that I have put in place. So let's say some new goals. I'm trying to get somewhere, and I have required myself to do something every single day, which is forward momentum for me and puts me in the space that I need to be in that helps me continue to move forward, that helps me to be able to continue to share with you guys daily, weekly, monthly, whatever it may be. It's what continues to allow me to do the different speaking events, the retreats, the workshops. It's what enables me to be me. So if I miss one day, that's a setback for me. Now that's how I operate. That doesn't mean that that's how you should operate, but I will tell you be careful when you miss just that one. Don't be too hard on yourself because if you miss it, you missed it. Then you make sure you get back up on your ten toes and you keep it moving. But if you don't have to miss it, if you're able to sit and contemplate, should I or should I not, you should do what you need to do because that's gonna make you a better version of yourself. That's gonna push you down the line to where you need to be. Now, let's think about this. I don't know how many listeners I have that go to the gym or they do diets or whatever it is that you do that makes you feel complete and whole. I'm gonna do the whole gym thing only because it's relatable to me because I go daily. But throughout my journey of consistently going to the gym, when that moment would come up and I'm like, it's just one day. I it's okay if I miss. Now, let me let you guys know I go Monday through Friday. And Saturday and Sunday are my break day. That's my routine. I get it in, I go hard. Saturday, Sunday is my break. If I miss a day during the week, then that means I have to go on Saturday. If I miss two days during the week, that means I must go on Saturday and Sunday. I am not trying to go on Saturday and Sunday, so I make sure I don't miss. Now, let's think about this. When we miss one day at the gym, and I'm gonna speak for myself, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate. That one day turns into two days, turns into three days. Oh my gosh, it's been a whole week. Are you kidding me? It's been three weeks since I've been to the gym. This is crazy. It's been a month. What in the world is going on? I gotta get my life. I'm just gonna get up, forget it, and I'm gonna go to the gym right now. That's generally how that plays out, and that's why I personally have to make sure I do not miss a day because it'll turn into two and turn into three and turn into four. It's like a person doing a diet. You have a cheat day, and then it's hard to get back on the wagon. For me, Saturday and Sunday as being my off day, I still feel it come Monday morning at 5 a.m. when I'm up in my car going to the gym. So if my off days are already a struggle, I don't need to fall off on my own day. So if I'm not in some way, shape, or form incapacitated where I am just completely unable, then I need to make sure I show up for myself. I need to show up and show out no matter what, because I'm doing it for me. I'm doing it for the long-term goal that I have. And even though that that may change my desires and where I'm going, I may definitely have to pivot. But I know that what I'm doing in the moment is what's helping me get to that long-term goal. It's what's helping me be able to do exactly what it is that I have made plans to do. So here we are in one of those days. And I can say it's about I my time about five or so in the evening, and I've just been able to roll out of the bed. But me recording this and doing this makes me feel good inside. I know that I didn't rob myself of something that I was capable of doing. Because we know that the world continues to go on and on. Life continues to happen. Remember, it happens for us, not against us. But life continues to life. And as long as I am doing what I need to do one step at a time and showing up for me, it doesn't matter what's going on around me. Because at the end of the day, I have to live with me. It doesn't matter if someone comes along, say it's my child or my mother or my spouse, and it's like, you okay, TK, you okay, just miss a day, get some rest. They're fully supportive. I got that, but they're not inside this body, they're not me. And I know I could easily take the route and take their support and not do what I need to do for that day that I've committed to doing. But, and let me say, they would never tell me to do that unless it was something I really, really needed to do for my own health and well-being. But if I was to take that advice and I was to do that, I would feel horrible that following day. I would then feel like I need to make up. And I don't need to do that. Not when I can show up in the moment, not when I can tap in and do what I need to do at that moment on that day. And I don't even have a time frame. Let me be honest with all of you listening. What I require myself to do every single day, I do not care what day of the week it is, does not have a time frame. As long as I do it in beta in between the time of waking up, my morning routine, none of that changes. But after that, all the way till I put my head down on that pillow to go back to sleep, so I have a whole day. And if I don't do it, and I'm gonna say this to you guys if you don't do it, you spend a whole day of making excuses. You spent more time in making excuses than it would have taken to just do what it is that you needed to do. Now I'm not saying that it's easy, I'm not saying that it's simple, but I am telling you that if you push yourself and you do it, you're pushing the limits because there are no limitations besides how we limit ourselves. Don't do that to yourself. Stand tall, allow that inner light inside of you to shine and shine bright. No matter what is going on around you. Stand up, step up for yourself. Do not give yourself the excuse or the past when you are curely, purely capable of doing what you need to do. And I'm not telling you to settle. Remember, you show up and you go hard, you give it all you got. I have a client that always says, and I have to say this, the way you do anything is the way you do everything. Let me hit you with that again. Thank you, Courtney. The way you do anything is the way you do everything. So if you decide, okay, I'm gonna go ahead and do it, but you're gonna have do it, you know the word to fill in there. Don't even do it because you're still not showing up for yourself. Give yourself all that you need on top of grace, but don't give yourself the opportunity to bail out when you know that it is something that you should be doing. When you know that that's gonna make you a better version of yourself, when you know for sure that that's what you should be doing. Now, I need everybody to be clear. I'm not telling you to cross boundaries, I'm not telling you to go do illegal things. All of my listeners should be 100% clear that you know exactly where I'm going with this. And just want to throw that out there. So, as we make sure that we show up for ourselves, because we're having one of those days. Now, one of those days didn't have to be what I experienced today. One of those days could be a horrible day at work, things didn't go the way they needed to go. One of those days it could be things didn't go the way it needed to with your spouse, with your kids, with a parent, with a loved one, with a bestie. It can be anything because we know one of those days can be hell on earth. Let's be real. But in spite of it being hell on earth, we can always make it the best day ever. And the way we do that is showing up for ourselves, putting ourselves first, and it's not selfish. So whoever thought that, I had it in me to make sure I say that. Putting yourself first and showing up for yourself does not make you selfish. Remember, you cannot be the best that you can be and show up for anybody else if you don't put you first. So I'm gonna need you to be a little selfish. So that way when you show up and show out, and everybody see your light shining bright and your cup running over, they need to get all that good. They need to feel all of that. So definitely be selfish so you can pour into you and give you what you need. And therefore, you can keep moving forward, and you can keep evolving into that better version of yourself, that version of you that's needed in order for you to enter into that new world and that new life that you're headed for. Because remember, the old you cannot accomplish what the you new you is set out to do. That's a version of you that you gotta leave behind. So I did want to make sure I put that out there and let everybody know it is one of those days for me. But the way I'm looking at it now is that my day is starting at five o'clock in the afternoon, and I'm gonna make the best of it, and I'm not gonna miss a beat regardless of how I'm feeling, because I'll feel better. Already doing this, I feel better. I still feel tired, I can still feel the medicine in me, but that does not stop me from being able to show up and show out. It didn't stop me from hopping on here and making sure I did this podcast to share with you guys. That's one of my commitments. And I made sure that I wasn't stopped. And it would have been easy. I got a lot going on as we all do. But don't stop showing up for yourself. So, what I'm gonna leave everyone with today, remember, my goal is to leave you better than I found you. The thing I'm leaving you with today is show up for yourself no matter what. And show up for yourself before you show up for others. So that means that you need to take that time. Whatever time it is that you wake up in the morning, give yourself time to be there for yourself. It's easier to do it in the morning or whenever you wake up if you work a night shift, whatever it is, whenever you wake up to start your day, whatever that time frame is, take time for yourself first. I promise you, if you don't, you'll say, Well, I'll get to it before bed, I'll get to it in the afternoon, I'll get to it, you're creating excuses. And by the time the day is over, you're exhausted and you missed you. And you missed the opportunity of that whole entire day being the best version of yourself. So definitely take the few minutes in the morning and show up for you. Show up and shine bright. Until next time, thank you for joining TK Conversations, and you guys will be hearing from me soon.