Watch Your Words—They’re Building Your Reality!

In this episode, we explore the real power of our words—the ones we speak out loud and the ones we whisper to ourselves. I break down how the language we use shapes our mindset, influences our emotions, and ultimately creates the reality we step into each day.

We often forget that the brain doesn’t know the difference between a joke, a habit, or the truth we speak with intention. It simply accepts our words as direction. And that’s why it’s so important to pay attention to what we say, how we say it, and the energy behind it.

We’ll walk through how careless phrases, negative self-talk, and “I’m just joking” statements can quietly limit our confidence, identity, and potential—while intentional words, spoken with clarity and purpose, can transform how we see ourselves and how others experience us.

If you’re ready to speak life into your journey, elevate your self-belief, and use your words as a tool for growth rather than limitation, this episode will meet you right where you are.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Thank you for joining me on this episode of TK Conversations. If you've listened to me in the past, welcome back. If this is your first time listening, I am grateful to have you a part of my community. I hope you enjoy everything that this episode has to offer and will be delivering. And please feel free to listen to previous episodes. So today we are, let's see what we're talking about on this wonderful journey of life that we are all taking together, regardless of where we are in our lives, regardless of our financial status, the titles that we hold, none of that matters. We are all on our own journeys, whatever they may look like. So I had a lot going on in my mind today as I was trying to decide what I was actually going to talk about. And I knew I wanted to pick back up on fear and doubt from the previous episode that I did, but it was just something really resonating in me to say, hold off before I go back into fear and doubts, because there's so much information that I want to provide to each one of you when it comes to dealing with fear and doubt, and really breaking that down. And I'm like, what better time to do it is to just follow up from the previous episode, but I'm not able to do that because what's really been weighing on my heart and mind today is how our mind doesn't know when we're playing or if we're serious. That's the way I always word it to myself. So let me explain it to you. Rather, you're making a joke. Let's just say you make a joke about someone and you say, Oh, you're fat. Let's just go with that. Sounds horrible, but let's just say that someone says, Oh, you're fat, and then they start laughing, and they say, Ah, I'm just playing. I don't think you're fat at all. I think that you're actually beautiful for the size that you are, you're just gorgeous. I don't think you're fat. Well, a person's mind cannot distinguish whether they are serious or if they're plain, and that's why being very intentional about what we say and do is extremely important. Please keep that in mind. It is extremely important. So before individual, let's just say, insult someone, let's just say what they say is rude. Let's go back to the whole someone saying that someone's fat. In your mind, say that TK. I am the one saying that to someone, but in my mind, I'm saying, I'm about to say this, and this is just a joke. My mind doesn't know the difference between that. My mind knows that I said it. That is what I said, that's what I put out there, that is the energy that I put out there. So when I say it to that individual, they're gonna have an emotion that goes through their body. And they have a matter of seconds that that emotion is moving, and then it's gonna turn into a feeling from them for them. And when it turns into a feeling, that's gonna determine how they move. So when I say that to them, and then I say, Oh, I'm just playing, that doesn't change anything that they're feeling. Because to them, that doesn't feel like a joke, regardless if I say it or not. And in reality, I'm I'm not really joking because my mind doesn't know the difference between the two anyway. So probably could have came up with a better example, but that was one that just came off the top of my head. But reason being on me saying that is that we really need to watch what it is that we say, no matter what it is. Now, let me I'm gonna take a step back and do one better for us. How about how we talk to ourselves? Those things that we say to ourselves, and I bet for a minute there, when I said the words how we talk to ourselves, I'm sure a lot of you took a pause for a second. How many times do we say something to ourselves that is completely out of line, or we say something that just seems so minimum that it doesn't matter whatsoever? No big deal. It is a big deal. Rather, we say the extreme or that small statement that we say, oh, it doesn't matter, no big deal. Let's start with this. How many times can we do something and then be like, oh shoot, I was stupid, I shouldn't have done that. Ah, I'm not smart enough. I don't know why I tried to do that. Or I knew that was gonna happen anyway. I already knew it wasn't gonna work out for me. Those things are said consistently, that's how we talk to ourselves a lot of times, and what we're not realizing is by saying that that is the outcome we're creating. We put that out there and then wonder why that's what we're receiving back. So if we start with the one that, uh I knew that was gonna never happen for me anyway. I knew I wasn't gonna get that opportunity. Let's pause and really think about that. You truly had an opportunity of taking advantage of whatever that was, but you created the reality of the outcome. If you say you can't, then you can't, and you won't. If you say you can, then you will, and you do, let that one resonate for a minute. If you say you can't, then you can't, if you say you can, then you will. If I say I can't do something, I don't even attempt to do it, therefore I didn't. Automatically. If I say I can and I go do it, and then it's done. Now that doesn't mean that there are no obstacles in the process of me accomplishing whatever it is that I said that I'm going to do, but if I say I'm gonna do it and I take the actions consistently to do it, then it's going to be done. It may look different than what I thought when I set out on the path to do it, but it is absolutely 100% going to be done. And what happens for us as humans when we say that um things like that don't happen for me, I won't get that opportunity, or I won't get that chance. You've already created the outcome, and then your feelings are hurting, you're bothered because that's the outcome. It's like a double-edged sword. You either want it or you don't want it. Something that I always tell my girls there's no such thing as trying. You're either going to do it or you're not. So let me be clear with that. No such thing as trying. You're either doing it or you're not doing it. And the reason I always emphasize that to them is because if I say, I'm gonna need you to run to the store a little data later today, okay, I'm gonna try to get by there. What does that even mean? You're either going to the store for me or you're not going to the store for me. There's nothing in between there. So you either get up and do exactly what it is that you're going to do, and when you do that, there is no trying in place, even if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to turn out, even if you decide that whatever you got up and did was a complete failure, and I can go into failures there because none of them are failures, but let's just say you think that it is a complete failure. Well, guess what? You still didn't try, you still actually did it, and that's what we need to realize. Our words are very powerful. We don't realize how strong and powerful our words are. We put those words out there and they impact so many people. So many people. So if I'm to walk around and I say to myself consistently, oh TK, that was stupid. You shouldn't have never done that. You're stupid. I am going to walk around defeated because I am going to believe because my brain does not know the difference. So I am going to walk around believing that I am stupid. Because that is what I said. I don't care if I just drop a cup of juice on the floor and my first thought was, oh, don't walk away from this counter with that, because you're gonna drop it. And then I drop it. I said it, I put it out there. So if we don't want the outcome of what we're saying, then don't say it, don't think it. And don't get me wrong, I understand that thoughts pop up all the time, but don't entertain them if the thought does not serve you, and in no way, shape, or form can you benefit from it? I need you to just let it flow and pass you by, let it come into your space and let it flow and keep going. Look at it like clouds in the sky, just let it pass. Because it was just a thought. No one said you had to attach yourself to that thought. That's what we do as humans. We think, oh, I had this thought, so now I own this thought. You don't own that thought. You just made a choice to grab the thought, and honestly, you you could have unconsciously grabbed it because you don't even recognize that that's what you're doing. And that's how easy it is with the words that come out of our mouth. That's how easy it is with the thoughts that pop up in our head, the things that we start telling ourselves. So let's think about it from a positive standpoint. Not that I think the one I just gave, those different scenarios were all negative, but I wanted to put that out there because it's so easy for us as humans, we attach to the negativity. That's what gets our adrenaline going. We the negative stuff, the bad stuff. And it's so easy for us to attach to those. But then when it comes to greatness, when it comes to good comments, when it comes to good thoughts, we step back and we're hesitant and then we question it. Has anyone ever thought about that? Let's let's take a moment and break for a second and think about that that I just said. We attach, we relate, we take a hold of all the negativity and just do something to us, and we never question it. We never doubt it. We take it in like it's ours, but when it comes to the good stuff, we run, we question it, we doubt it. What makes us question the goodness and doubt the goodness, but be so in love with the negativity and the badness? What is that? And I want us to sit with that. You can even think about that, even when the podcast is, you know, over for today. Really think about that. What is it in us that makes us feel that way? And if you're someone that doesn't attach with the negativity, oh my goodness, I I praise you. That is a great thing, that is a skill, and that is something that you definitely had to work on and continue to work on it every single day because our natural human reaction is basically what I said, and I commend you because I'm definitely like that myself. I can see the good in any and everything, I see the good before I see anything bad. And I've literally had people, I even had a client tell me one time in a coaching session, her exact words was it seems like you're delusional sometimes because no matter what's said to you, and no matter how bad it is, you still saw sunshine and rainbows. How is that even possible? Those were her exact words to me, and I'll never forget when that session was over, because she and I had a conversation and I explained to her how I see that. But once that session was over, I always take about 30 minutes to kind of clear my mind, get every write any notes down that I need to write down. Um, but then I get out of that mental space that I needed to be in for that coaching session. And when I got out of it, I stopped and thought, and I was like, do I really see everything as sunshine and rainbows? Do I really not see the bad in anything? So I started running through different scenarios in life. I I I'll be completely transparent. I ran through if a loved one died, I ran through if my house caught on fire and burnt to the ground. I ran through if everything that I had and everyone that I love was gone or destroyed, would I still see sunshine and rainbows? And two things came out of that. First thing I will answer if anybody wondered as we're listening to this, yes, I do see sunshine and rainbows and everything. My mind, no matter what happens, never goes negative first, never does. And I know that it is annoying to those that are close to me, but it just doesn't. I have programmed and worked on myself so much to see the joy in everything that naturally I only see the good. Even if it's something, because I'm human, even if it's something that kind of gave me a quick emotion of ooh, TK, you should be a little sad about that. I immediately I immediately come out of that. I don't pick that up. That was just an emotion that was passing. I allow it to pass. Now, back to that whole scenario. If all of those things happened to me, would I still really see sunshine and rainbows? Because I had to take a deep dive with myself and really think about that because that wasn't the first time someone has said that for me. My husband and I even joke about things and he'll say little quick comments like that of you see joy in everything. Nothing bad. I just do, and I'm like, yeah. And I think what happens sometimes is that people don't realize that I see it from their perspective, I can understand it from their perspective wholeheartedly, but I make a choice to not see it that way, so I get where they're coming from, it's crystal clear, but I don't have to see it that way, and I've chosen not to see it that way, and I've programmed myself enough through life experiences, and as I continue to grow and evolve, that I didn't need to see it that way anymore. My perspective is my reality, so if I'm choosing to see things with that perspective, then the outcome is gonna be of that perspective, that's gonna be my reality, and I had dealt with depression long enough. I dealt with crying and being sad and not knowing why I'm on the face of the earth for long enough. I know what that feels like, I know what that looks like. I can heck, I have a PhD in that. If we were giving out degrees for it, I'll have one for sure. I'll have multiples. So since I've experienced that and I've lived that life and I've grown and involved into this better, stronger, empowered, abundance, new version of myself, I'm able to be very intentional about what I say and what I do and my perspective, because I am creating that reality that I want, that I don't have to think like that. The first thing that comes to mind does not have to be negative. So all of that that I mentioned earlier, say let's say happened to me. Would I still be sunshine and rainbows? Would TK still be sunshine and rainbows? That answer is absolutely 100% yes, and some people may be like, okay, now that's some BS, or no, I don't even believe you on that. Here's the key. I will still be sunshine and rainbows. Now I never said that I won't hurt, because hurting has nothing to do with sunshine and rainbows. I will hurt for the loss of my loved ones because that emotion does come to me that oh, they're no longer with me physically in the physical realm, in the physical world, but my goodness, the time that I had with them, the memories that I shared with them, they are still with me. That didn't go anywhere. So, yes, I am still happy, I am still sunshine and rainbows because I got that opportunity to have all of the moments that I did have with them. So I'm full of bliss. Yeah, I may cry because there I can no longer pick up the phone and talk to them, but they're forever in my heart and mine. I can always go back to those memories. And now, when it comes to materialistic things, this is my perspective, solely mine. They're materialistic. If I got them once, I could get them again and again and again and again and again. And let me be completely real and frank. I may need not even want it again. I may see something else that I think is better and want that. So I must still be sunshine and rainbows if everything, all my materialistic things burn to the ground or something like that. Because to me, what my mind will say is that house is gone. It served its purpose in the time of needing to serve its purpose, and now it is time for me to continue to have forward momentum because I am going to get something bigger and better, far greater than what that was. It's not a setback, it's a jump forward, it's steady forward momentum. So instead of seeing it as a bad thing and it being horrible, no, hate that it happened, but I'm glad because it allows me to move forward, it allows me to keep going. That's what it does. So every time I am moving in life, and every time that you guys wake up each day, morning, afternoon, because I don't know anybody's work shifts, how their life goes, I want you to be intentional about everything that you say because your words are powerful and they create your reality. And remember, the things that you say have an impact on those around you. And no, we can't control a person's you know emotions and their feelings, but we can control the words that come out of our mouths, and we can control the things that we say to ourselves because we can't help anyone around us if we're destroying ourselves. So mind your words. So the challenge that I leave you guys with today, and what I want you to take away from today's conversation with TK, is watch what you say to yourself. Every single time you make a comment to yourself that is not a positive comment, I want you to be present enough to recognize it and then give yourself two positive comments. And I want you guys, if you take out a notebook or notepad on your cell phones, whatever, go in and list 10 positive things about yourself. Write them down. So every time that you have a negative thought about yourself or say something negative to yourself, I want you to recall that list in your head. Say one of the 10 things, say all of the 10 things. I want you to recite those things to yourself because that's the only way we're gonna start shifting our mindsets. This is clearly the only way that we're gonna do this. So for myself, I'll give an example before we go. Every single morning when I wake up, I remind myself that I'm pure abundance, that I am pure light and I radiate sunshine, that I am pure joy and I radiate joy, that I am pure love and I radiate love. I tell myself those four things every single morning, and I have some additional ones that go with it. I spend 15 minutes every single day that I wake up pouring into myself before I approach my girls, my husband, the world, anyone, those first 15 minutes belong to me, and then it gets a little longer because I do my daily routine, but that's that time with me. Because in order for me to be the best version of me at every single moment, I have to make sure I put me first every single day. Just like it starts with me and it ends with me. So remember, please love yourself, fill your cup up so others can get the overflow of your joy and happiness. And until next time, enjoy your day. This is TK, and I'll be talking to you soon.