Who is holding you back?

In this episode of my podcast, I explore the powerful idea that it's not our true selves that hold us back, but rather the limiting beliefs we have about who we think we are not. I dive into how self-doubt, fear of failure, and imposter syndrome can create invisible barriers, and discuss strategies to break free from these mental constraints to unlock our fullest potential.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Ladies and gentlemen, you are tapped into TK Conversations. I am your host, TK Strickland, also known as Latasha. Today I do have a special guest, which is my loving husband, Roosevelt Strickland.

SPEAKER_01: 0:15

Thank you. Thank you for having me. Um, I'm ready to have a challenging conversation or however it may go, let's just have some fun.

SPEAKER_00: 0:21

Okay, just to give a little insight on TK Conversations Podcast, this is a podcast where we're just going to have normal conversations, but we're going to have those conversations that are uncomfortable to have. We're going to learn how to start becoming comfortable being uncomfortable. So those things that we're not able to talk about or those things we're uncomfortable with talking about, we're going to bring them to the table and we're just going to discuss them and we're just going to let it flow. And whatever comes out of it comes out of it.

SPEAKER_01: 0:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_00: 0:52

Sound good?

SPEAKER_01: 0:53

Sound good. You know, being your first guest. I'm excited. I'm ready. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_00: 0:57

All right. Now he did say being my first guest. So I will let everyone know this is my very first podcast. So I appreciate all the feedback, all the comments, whatever you have, it's all welcome because it's just a learning experience and I'm here for it all.

SPEAKER_02: 1:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13

Ready?

SPEAKER_02: 1:14

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15

All right. So our topic today is going to be a very interesting topic. It's going to take a deep dive. Not sure which way it's going to turn, but it's very interesting. If we don't get through everything today within this podcast, don't worry. I'll have a part two and three until we can sum it all up. But to get started, just so you know, basically the topic is going to be who we are, who we think we're not, and the mindset wrapped around that whole entire thought. Any comments before I actually say the whole topic?

SPEAKER_01: 1:50

No, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 1:52

Okay. So the topic is literally based on a quote. Now I can't tell you who the quote came from. It's one of those quotes where it's like anonymous, but it's just been out there for a long time. So the quote is it's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not. So I'll repeat that one because it is deep. It's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not that is actually holding you back. And before I go any deeper, I just want to get Roosevelt's opinion. Tell me what you think about that.

SPEAKER_01: 2:33

That's a good question. I mean, that's a good um, you know, good way to start it out. You know, one thing about it is that a lot of people struggle with that because at the end of the day, we're trying to figure out who we are, um, the real us, not the fake us. We're trying to figure out who we are and how can we move forward to be successful. But at the end of the day, the question is, is, you know, we really have to get deeper into it and break that part down to actually find out, okay, there's layers to it. Um, and I think today we get we get a little deeper into it.

SPEAKER_00: 3:05

I like that. I like that one because you you are correct. Even with my coaching business, when I'm one-on-one with my clients, one of the first things that we start with is our identity. We identify as so much, but that's not our true identity. So when you say get to the core or there's layers, I like that analogy because it's like an onion. We can peel back all these layers. And it takes us peeling back all those layers to really get to the core of who we are. Because society actually creates who we are. Our parents, our grandparents, what we've experienced in life. We were told, if you were told, don't walk across the street without looking both ways, as you grow up as a little kid, you're nervous, you're scared, you're standing right there on the curve looking both ways. It's because parents put that fear in.

SPEAKER_01: 3:56

So true. So true. I, you know, one thing um a couple weeks ago, a gentleman was bringing up this whole uh PowerPoint and he asked a question. He says, So, uh, what's the difference between being five years old and being 17 years old? And it was really eye-opening because when you were five, you didn't care. You just kind of flow with life. Whatever happened, happened. You know, you wasn't worried about nobody's opinion, judgment, things like that. But when you get to when once you get to 17, things change because a lot of years go by and people start to uh second guess themselves, trying to figure out who they really are, things like that.

SPEAKER_00: 4:35

Okay, I like that. So at five years old, I like that thought because my first instinct is curiosity.

SPEAKER_03: 4:44

Uh-huh. True.

SPEAKER_00: 4:45

At the age of five, I'm very curious. I'm attempting any and everything. And then by the age of 17, at that point, I'm like not moving forward at all.

SPEAKER_03: 4:56

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 4:57

So I'm I'm nervous at that point. I guess you could say we're afraid or we've developed a lot of fears. True. And those fears come about basically, I would say from life experiences, but if we say at the age of 17, or we can even say at the age of 45, life has taught us uncertainties. But with teaching us that, it has really put a lot of fear in us.

SPEAKER_01: 5:25

Very true. Because I know at the age of 17, I had molded myself into just trying to be a part of the crowd, um, trying to just fit in. Uh, at the same time, um, I'm not taking that many uh risks because I feel like up, that's it's gonna make me look dumb or stupid. So at the end of the day, I'm really holding myself back because in life, you have to take some of those chances, you gotta take them. Give it a shot, open it up, and you know, and go for it. But uh when you're 17, yeah, I think a lot of 17-year-olds right now are like, nah, I'm not gonna do that because I won't be cool tomorrow at school.

SPEAKER_00: 5:58

So I that's perfect. So we tapped into fear and we tapped into comparing ourselves or worrying about what the next person thinks. And I like that. So I could spin that off into so many different ways, but we'll continue that for another podcast. But I I am gonna dive into some of that because I like how you broke down the fear portion, and I do want to go back to that. So before I bounce back to that, I'm gonna go a little deeper on the quote as far as it's not who I am that's holding me back. It's who I think that I'm not. So if I was to bounce that question off of you and say, who are you or who are you not? Which one would you say you can answer easier?

SPEAKER_01: 6:53

I would say uh majority of the world can answer the not part, who I'm not. Um because um, well, let me be not saying who who you are. Yeah, I would say not, because at the end of the day, I can tell you more negative things, I can tell you more positives. So the not part of come out really quickly, like, you know, uh, I'm not this, I'm not that, I'm not the best thing here, I'm not tall, I'm not I don't have hair, you know, so things like that. So, you know, at the end of the day, you could come up with a uh many, many uh knots before you could come up with the positives or who are you?

SPEAKER_00: 7:29

Okay, okay. So it's safe to say that our mindset is at a certain point that it is easy for us to say who I am not. So I am not a millionaire, I'm not America's next top model, right? I'm on my way. Right. We on our way. Right. Okay. So you're right. All of the I am nots. And that's the part that I want to dig into because that is truly the purpose of the quote, to get everyone's attention to say, okay, it's not who I am that's holding me back because who I am is who really can get me there. Now, when we say who I am, I'm also saying that's after we've pulled back all the layers off that onion, because we got to do a deep dive. We got to really dig to figure out truly who we are.

SPEAKER_03: 8:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 8:26

Okay. And then once we know who we are, at that point, we can easily say, okay, I'm not that. And me not being that doesn't matter because now that's no longer important. It's just who I am that's important. Okay. So when we look at who we are not, I'm gonna go back to your fear analogy, and we think about fear. What would you say fear is to you?

SPEAKER_01: 8:54

To me. Fear is the unknown. Um, not knowing how how you will be perceived um to the to the public or to the world. Um, I think fear controls us. And the crazy part about fear is that um it's just the unknown. Uh, you just find yourself just afraid of something. And fear can come in many different forms. You can actually uh create fear just by uh mentally creating boundaries for yourself, you know? When you start creating boundaries, that's just fear. That's all that is. Um, because if no one never told you that this was actually a rule or this was actually what you needed to follow, why would you create that in your mind? But to try to stay in to try to stay on the right side or the um the best side of the coin, we create those things and the fear slowly starts to mount to where we start putting in many different pieces and parts of our lives.

SPEAKER_00: 9:52

Okay, okay. So what I heard you say, and I'ma just paraphrase it because I like how you worded it, but I'll I'll paraphrase it. Fear creates boundaries, correct? Okay, so if I add on to that, I would say fear creates limitations. So fear in a sense, I guess, could be protecting us from the unknown. Like you said, okay. So what if we also looked at fear as lies that we create and tell ourselves to actually hold ourselves back?

SPEAKER_01: 10:36

That's very true. Now that's it, now that's now we're getting deep because some of us are lying to ourselves or who we are. Yes, and that's not really us. You know, at the end of the day, we're walking around here trying to be something that we're not. When really that's not even us. We're just trying to keep up with the the narrative. But you're right, we get you got to find out who are you, you know, and have that confidence to actually pull that real person out and show us who you are.

SPEAKER_00: 11:04

All right. So I guess a question would be, and this is putting you on the spot, because I think you told me who you're not was easier to answer, right?

SPEAKER_02: 11:17

Correct.

SPEAKER_00: 11:18

So if you could give me one word that says who you are at the core, what would it be? And don't feel bad.

SPEAKER_02: 11:30

One word, yeah, or it could be a sentence. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_01: 11:34

Um passionate, driven, uh, things like that. Um yeah, I think I would say yes. Uh, one thing about it just passionate and driven in everything that I put my hands on, from my family to work. Um, I'm very serious about winning at all times. So I'm very passionate about what I do. I'm passionate to have this life. Um, I want to win.

SPEAKER_00: 12:02

All right. Now, my purpose for asking that question, I was digging a little deeper, even though you didn't know, I was digging a little deeper. I was kind of narrowing, you know, navigating it a certain way, but I like your answer because it fits right in. Because my my next thing was gonna be self-awareness. In order for us to know who we truly are, we have to become more self-aware. Right. Gotta stop lying to ourselves. Yes. And then, and then it comes down to okay, TK, if you say become more self-aware, how am I gonna become more self-aware? Because if you take an individual that feels like they are fully self-aware, we have to get them to a point for them to understand that they're not. So if someone was to just ask me randomly, okay, how do I become more self-aware? First thing I would probably think of would be ask yourself the questions that you don't know the answer to.

SPEAKER_01: 13:03

Very true. And why the why, you know. Um jump in. I have a let me tell you this one. Um, I have a buddy of mine. Um he kind of enlightened me on a few things. Um, in his mind, he felt like he needed to be uh like his father. And he just felt he kept working to be like his father, but at the end of the day, his father never noticed him. So you need to find out who you are, you know. And we had a conversation and I broke it down to him. I said, hey, you gotta find out who you are because you can't be somebody else. You can't live in somebody else's shadow. This is your, this is your this is your world, this is your life, you know. And it was so funny that as time went on, he was able to find his way, and now he is him. You know, he moves on and he's able to actually uh kind of release that and be free of that because the boundaries were up because he thought that, well, I should not do that because that's not what somebody else would do. But when it came down to it, that's him. You take chances. You're gonna do the you're gonna do the opposite of everyone else. And that's what have made this gentleman uh you know life a little bit different. So I do understand what you mean when you say, you know, we have to find, we have to dig a little bit deeper and find out who we are.

SPEAKER_00: 14:25

And that's an interesting one. He wanted to be exactly like his dad. So I'm gonna see if I could break this down and then you share with me your thoughts. So if he wants to be like his dad, or he wanted to be like his dad, that meant that the image of his dad he felt was great.

SPEAKER_03: 14:45

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 14:46

He didn't recognize that his dad was limited because his dad had his own fears that were installed inside of him, and his dad installed those same fears inside of him. So it transcends from generation to generation. So when he realized that it was okay with him being himself, did he ever discuss with you or share with you what that mindset shift was? Because that's what it was. Whenever that clicked that he was okay with being him and not his father, there was a shift there.

SPEAKER_01: 15:22

But the crazy part about it, I think that's the moment his father paid attention and seen him for him for who he was. But you know, one thing about it, I think um I can't really speak for him, but I can say that um it was a moment in his life where he was actually the burden was off his back and he was able to be the person he wanted to be. Um, so I, you know, just listening back through the quote that you just uh stated, it kind of brung that up. And I was like, ah, I I heard that before. And it was it, he was, he he was able to actually move forward with his life and be successful and do things that you know his father's never seen. But that's the kind of guy he is, he takes chances, you know. So that's just how how life works.

SPEAKER_00: 16:07

All right, so acceptance.

SPEAKER_01: 16:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 16:11

And I think whether it's coming from a parent that an individual needs acceptance from, it could be a best friend, it could be a sibling, and it still goes back to our identity and self-awareness. So if we're looking at the whole thing of who we are and who we are not, and that being the portion that's holding us back, why do you think we struggle so much with who we are or who we are not, whichever whichever avenue you want to go down?

SPEAKER_01: 16:51

Because one thing about it, I would say that we don't love ourselves the way we supposed to. You should be able to love yourself to say, This is who I am, and you're gonna take me for who I am, or you not? It's fine. You know, I don't need friends that bad. I'm gonna be me. And as long as I'm um being me, I can be loyal. Long as I'm being myself, I can be trustworthy. Long as I'm being myself, I can be all of the important um pieces to the puzzle. But when you're when you're not being yourself, you find yourself doing things that you wouldn't normally do, arguing with people, fighting about things that are gossiping and worrying about somebody else's life. Be you, be happy with your with your life, be happy being you.

SPEAKER_00: 17:42

Okay, you're gonna have to stop taking these turns on me because I'm I'm sticking with one thing, but you're sending me down another road.

SPEAKER_02: 17:50

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00: 17:50

Okay, so now we're turning everybody. I gotta turn because he said the word love. So now I I gotta dive there for a moment. So love. We don't love ourselves, is what you said. Okay. So all of this is going hand in hand. If we don't know who we truly are because we're identifying as being all these things, how do we know how to love ourselves? Because if what's installed inside of us is what our parents gave us, our grandparents gave us, what television showed us, what social media is showing us, how can we love ourselves if we don't even know ourselves?

SPEAKER_01: 18:34

Very true. Very true. One thing about it, if you don't, if you don't know how to love yourself and be confident in your own skin, it can become very challenging. And I think that's the moment that uh a life coach uh will, you might need to get a life coach because you need someone to help you fill back those layers to find out who you are.

SPEAKER_00: 18:58

I like that. You are correct. So anyone that's against life coaches or therapy, I will tell you there's nothing wrong with any of it. I know in our nationality, we kind of shy away from it. We are becoming much better at it. But I would say if a therapist is not for you, maybe it's just a life coach because you always have to remember none of us are broken. That's one thing that we are not. We're not broken. We may need just someone to hold our hands or kind of guide us through that journey or walk with us through that journey, or you just may need that person to just listen so you can get everything off your chest. And once you get it all off your chest, then you can start realizing who you are. You can start discovering who you are or rediscovering who you are. So always keep that in mind. Life coach, I'm available, one on one groups, whatever you need, but always keep that in mind. They are out there. And I am out there definitely to support or help wherever I can. Now, I I'ma go back to the love because when you were explaining that, I was just thinking about a conversation that you and I had earlier today about, I think it was Miss Pat.

SPEAKER_01: 20:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 20:19

And she was the, and probably a lot of people know who Miss Pat is, but you were discussing how, and I had no idea how she was shot in the back of the head.

SPEAKER_01: 20:28

Back of the head. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 20:29

Okay. And shot somewhere else.

SPEAKER_01: 20:31

Chest area.

SPEAKER_00: 20:32

Okay. And she was in the hospital. Everyone knows, thank goodness Miss Pat is still alive. But once she came back to herself in the hospital, she said that her boyfriend loved her. So the individual that shot her was her boyfriend. And when she came back to herself after all that she had gone through with those gunshots, the first thing she said was, He loves me. And the reason that stands out to me is because you brought up the word love. And that is a prime example of two things. She didn't know what love was. And someone had to work with her, explain to her, and get her to do a mind shift to really recognize that's not love. Because it's a thing. We can not truly know what love is, but we can know what love is not.

SPEAKER_03: 21:31

True. True.

SPEAKER_00: 21:33

Just like going back to the quote, but we can truly know what it is not. And we know a gunshot to the head, to the chest, a gunshot anywhere for that matter, is not love. But when you think that that is love, that means that you're accepting what that individual is doing when you shouldn't, because that means that individual doesn't even know how to love themselves either. That's true.

SPEAKER_01: 21:58

And you know, and at the same time, that kind of brings brings you back to, you know, you have to tell you have to be truthful with yourself. At the end of the day, you have to be truthful. You have to make sure that you understand how to love yourself. And one thing about it, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Um, and then that right there will kind of show you who you are. Um and then at the end at the end of the day, you you can find out who you are not. Um, because sometimes we are not these individuals that we portray to be um throughout the day in our life. Um, we really need to just be ourselves. That's it. Love yourself. Love love being you. You know, you actually um have a life to live. Love being you. Yeah, we all we're all different. The imperfections is what make us perfect. So just love being you and move forward. And I think if you can actually get to that point, you can actually have a better life.

SPEAKER_00: 22:54

Okay, you're going deep. I'm not the only one going deep today. All right, so let's see. What else do we have on that topic? Because it has it's developing in a way that I wasn't expecting for it to develop, and that's a good thing. I'm I'm perfectly fine with that. So we may not have a part two, everybody. This may be the only one, and part next episode will be a whole nother topic. But I will say, so if we bounce back to who we are not, and we bounce back to fear, those two things, I guess my next question would be what do you think being afraid or being fearful creates in us as humans?

SPEAKER_01: 23:53

Comfort. It creates comfort. When you're afraid of something, you won't go near it. You won't, you won't give it a shot. You won't even think about going in that direction because you're you're fearful of it. Or just showing the true you. Right? Fear makes you just be whatever the world wants you to be. And oh, I'm good. I fit in, I'm comfortable. You know, but one thing in life is that we gotta we have to get uh comfortable being uncomfortable. You know, that's how you're able to be successful, that's how you're able to, you know, uh reach your goals. Because um one when you're comfortable, only thing you're doing is kind of just you're stagnant, you're spinning your wheels. Um, you know, one thing about it when I when I have conversations with my team, um, I try to explain it or explain to them those things. We're gonna have to get uncomfortable. It's gonna be some conversations that you're gonna have to have that might not make you feel, you know, it may not flow off, flow off correct or fast or smooth, but just work through it and it it'll happen, you know. And I I really feel like that's one of the things that um we gotta we have to get out of the comfort zone and take those chances.

SPEAKER_00: 25:03

I like that because I I remember T.I. was doing an interview one time, and it's when he said the quote, and I don't know if it's him quoting it or if he got it from somewhere else, but thank you, T.I., because I got it from you. But he made the statement that our greatness lies right outside of our comfort zone. And if you think about that and actually visualize that, that's like saying, I'm right here, the table's here, and right on the other side of that table. So, right in the middle of this table, I'm in comfort on this side, and on that side is me not being comfortable. But that's where my greatness is. And if this is the distance between greatness and me being comfortable, is just one step. But continue to visualize this with me. The one step from me being comfortable to uncomfortable in my greatness is the fire right there. That fire is fear. Yeah, yeah, so how can I move over to my greatness when fear is all in front of me? So now that the fear is there and I look at it and know that that is fear, what that would create in me is self-doubt.

SPEAKER_01: 26:26

Very much so. Very much so. Yep. So and keep you and keep you away from progressing.

SPEAKER_02: 26:33

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00: 26:35

So to me, I would say fear creates self-doubt.

SPEAKER_01: 26:43

I will agree.

SPEAKER_00: 26:45

So, well, I'll keep with my visualization here. So I have the fire going, then the fire is going to the right, to the left, up, down, but I still know that on the other side of it is my greatness. So now that I have all this fear in me, that I'm not gonna move forward because I don't want to get burnt automatically. That's just the rule. That's what's been installed since I was a little kid. We all know that fire burns. Even when musicians do what they do when they're playing with fire, they have chemicals or something on their hands or bodies that enables them to do their trick. So I say that to say, with the fire being my fear, that has now created self-doubt. Now the thing is, I can never get over there. I'll never be able to get past this, whatever this fear is. And always remember whatever it is that is holding you back, that is fear. So you have to identify what that is specifically, and then you have to work through that. But let's say a lot of people don't. We just stop. We stop right there, we become complacent and we say, okay, I'm comfortable with where I'm at. Because I'm okay sitting here. I got the table, it's probably drinks inside of here. I got a comfortable chair, I got the heater, I'm good. So I'm good right here. I don't have to move over there. But what's over there is the opportunity of a lifetime. So, in order to do that mindset shift, what I need to do now is say, I need to take another road. The fire might be right there, but I could look over there and see ain't no fire over there. So now, how do I retreat and just pivot? I don't have to go across it because it's over there. It's all over there. So I'm gonna pivot.

SPEAKER_01: 28:38

The moment you have to be honest with yourself. You have to look and say, I'm gonna get burned that way. So let me stop, turn around, look the other direction, and I'm gonna take this path. And this path here may not be bright like the fire, but it's better going opposite direction.

SPEAKER_00: 28:55

Love it. Because there's more roads than there are roadblocks.

SPEAKER_01: 29:00

Very true. Very true.

SPEAKER_00: 29:02

So we're gonna take a different road and easier said than done, huh?

SPEAKER_01: 29:06

Easier said than done.

SPEAKER_00: 29:07

So I like that one. I had to throw in self-doubt because a lot of people don't realize that's what fear creates. We don't move forward because now we are doubtful about what we could do. And there's a lot that goes into that whole self-doubt portion, like the gentleman that wanted to be like his dad. He may have thought, if I don't mimic my dad, then I can't be as successful as my dad. That's correct. So now I'm just doubting myself altogether.

SPEAKER_01: 29:40

Okay. I can see where he was going. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 29:42

So tell me your thoughts. What you got? Because I know I didn't threw a lot out there, and I got another doozy for you, but I know I didn't throw a lot out there. So tell me what you're thinking.

SPEAKER_01: 29:50

Um, I think we're going a good direction. Um, you know, like I said, it's a conversation that a lot of people need to have with themselves. Um, a life coach would be great, but um, did they have with themselves? Even people you really trust in your life. Uh sit down and have a real conversation. If they tell you that, hey, you that's not you, you might want to go back and just reflect and just think about it and say, hey, that's about right. I don't know why I was in that mode or why I was going in that direction. That might not be me. Let me let me be true to me. So yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 30:22

Like it. I have all these thoughts running through my mind and all these quotes. One of them, I'm gonna say I think it was Henry Ford and our youngest daughter is the one that brought it. Yeah, you remember that. Okay. She brought it to our attention the other day when we were discussing it and we were talking about mindset, because that that's like my number one thing. Since I am a mindset coach, I always take it back to the mindset because as a man thinketh, so is he.

SPEAKER_03: 30:53

Very true.

SPEAKER_00: 30:54

And when she gave us that quote from Henry Ford, she said, if you think you can't, you can't. If you think you can, you can. Either way, you're right. And Henry Ford basically just simplified it. And his whole take was basically just creating the automobile. Yeah, that was his whole thing. But her sharing that was a simple way that I'm able to take that and use that, whether I'm in a coaching session or having a one-on-one with someone or just my everyday life, just walking around talking to people. A lot of things about mindset. That is what it's all about. So if you can literally think it, if you can literally visualize it, you can manifest it into the physical form.

unknown: 31:42

True.

SPEAKER_00: 31:42

Regardless of the fear, yeah, because that's an obstacle, regardless of what's going on around you, regardless of life just lifeing, because if we keep in mind, life is happening no matter what. It's not happening to us, it's just happening around us. And it's how we make it personal to ourselves that makes us feel like it's happening to me.

SPEAKER_03: 32:06

True.

SPEAKER_00: 32:07

Okay, so before I go to my next one, anything else you want to say about Henry Ford? No. Uh okay. So you ready for this one? Okay. So this is another quote. And again, I don't know who this one comes from. You guys are more than welcome to research it. Put it in some chats if you know who said this quote. But this one I'll repeat a couple of times to make sure everyone gets it. So the quote is I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am.

SPEAKER_02: 32:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 32:56

Okay. Let me go one more time.

SPEAKER_02: 32:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 32:58

Okay. And this is all about mindset, everyone. Remember this. As I repeat this, let's think about it. I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am.

SPEAKER_01: 33:19

That's a deep one there. Hey, walk me through it. Let's talk about it. Walk me through it. That's a lot.

SPEAKER_00: 33:27

It yes, that one is a lot. So, based on our mindset and going back to who we think we are, it's not who I am that's holding me back. It's who I think that I am not that's holding me back. So if we start out with the very beginning, I am not who I think I am. Because who I think I am, if we haven't did a deep dive and truly uncovered who we really are, we're not who we think we are.

SPEAKER_03: 33:59

True.

SPEAKER_00: 33:59

So I would say, here's an example. Say my mother was afraid of spiders. So my whole entire life, as I grew up, if a spider came around, she completely freaked out. Well, I took, I took on that. I took on that identity. So I'm afraid of five uh spiders. My dad didn't like onions growing up. I didn't have a problem with onions when I was a little girl, but wanting to be like my dad, I didn't like onions till this day. So everybody knows I still don't eat onions. I take onions off his food. I tell them, oh, he don't want onions. I say my the same thing to my kids. No, they don't want onions. He doesn't like onions. But so that's an identity that I took onto myself. So if someone was to ask me that question, hey, you like onions? What do you want on your chicken sandwich? Oh, I don't like onions. That is not true. I don't recall ever eating an onion to determine for myself that I don't like onions. That's a humorous way of looking at it. We have social media and everything else that helps create the identity that we are latching onto. So right there, there's a version of I'm not who I think I am, because I probably do like onions. If I was to try it, somebody dice them up, saute them. I can't even taste them.

SPEAKER_03: 35:18

True.

SPEAKER_00: 35:19

Maybe I'm not afraid of spiders. Maybe my mom just freaked me out. And if one came across the table right now, I wouldn't freak out.

SPEAKER_02: 35:27

Okay. You will.

SPEAKER_00: 35:29

Yeah, I will. I will. Because I've taken on that identity. So I'm paranoid to death. Look, I'll be ready to pack up and move. I'm not gonna lie. That's how afraid of them I am. So that would be the part of I am not who I think I am. So now the second portion is I am not who you think I am.

SPEAKER_02: 35:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 35:50

Okay. So with that portion, I'm gonna have you sharing this with me. Don't say anything that's gonna embarrass me or you'll deal with me later. Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 35:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 36:00

So tell me something that you think that I am. If it's real good, I'm gonna agree. Don't worry about it. Smart. Smart. Of course. Okay. So that was the same. Are you playing it safe? Come on. Come on.

SPEAKER_01: 36:21

Um, I don't know. The girls always say you're not the life of the party.

SPEAKER_00: 36:30

Right there. Right there. Okay, that's a perfect one because I'm glad you said that, because they tell me all the time, you're right. I'm not the life of the party. And then I use, I think Usher said it before something. I'd be like, I am the party.

SPEAKER_03: 36:45

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00: 36:46

I am the party. It doesn't get started until I show up because I am the party. Right. So they think, or let's say you think I am not the party. Okay. So right there, I am not who you think I am because I believe I am the party.

SPEAKER_02: 37:04

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00: 37:04

I am the life of the party.

SPEAKER_02: 37:06

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00: 37:06

So there's those two. Okay. So now the next part is. I'm gonna repeat the quote and then I'm gonna go into the third one. So I am not who I think I am was one. I am not who you think I am is two. Okay. I am who I think you think I am.

SPEAKER_01: 37:36

And that's the part that gets people because they are the opinion of others, the opinions of the public. That's what you are actually lying to yourself and actually saying, okay, this is who I am. Really, that's not you. You still got to put peel back that onion and find out who you are, because you can't just go off of whatever the trend is or whatever the hype is. Well, that's me. That's not you. Be you, love you.

SPEAKER_00: 38:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 38:04

Gotcha. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00: 38:05

And you're right. That is the hardest piece to the puzzle because now what I have told myself is that he thinks, let me pat myself on the back. He thinks I'm the smartest person that he knows. I don't think, well, let me rephrase it. I think that I'm smart too. So I am being what I think he thinks that I am. And where the struggle comes in, let's say that I have self-doubt. I have some fear. So I'm putting on this persona for him that I am the smartest person where inside I'm struggling. True.

SPEAKER_01: 38:53

There's a lot of people out there like that. You know, um, you know, they're in school and they're very smart kid. But at the end of the day, the cool, the cool thing to be is um not not as smart as, you know, pretty much don't put it out there like that, you know. Um at the end of the day, just be you. Just be you, man. Just enjoy, enjoy school, enjoy life. Uh, same way with the workplace. You know, people come into work and the first thing they say is, ah, I hate this job. You really hate this job, you hate the job, you get you'll go get another. You know, there's a reason why you're here. So you're right. You know, I got where you're going. I might got off base there, but I got where you're going.

SPEAKER_00: 39:33

No, you're yeah, you're perfectly fine. That that's just one of those quotes that we have to sit with for a while because there's so much intertwined in that. Whatever your thought of me is may or may not be true. Whatever I think that you're thinking of me may or may not be true. What I think of myself may or may not be true. So it is. Still all going back to the mindset who we identify as, why we're choosing to identify as that, and how do we shift our mindsets? Because in reality, we create every single thing around us. And I know that's another one that people listening could be like, well, wait a minute, I'm not creating that. My car broke down yesterday. I didn't create that.

SPEAKER_03: 40:31

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 40:33

It's a good possibility you did. And that would be a whole nother episode as well. But riding around on E. Yeah, your car will break down now.

SPEAKER_01: 40:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 40:43

That fuel filter sucking up all that dirt. Yeah. So not getting a tune-up, not getting a repair. I mean, we really do create our realities. And that's something that we really, really need to think about and keep in mind. So I'll share this portion with everyone again because I always in each podcast, I want you guys to have a takeaway. And the takeaway from this one is to do a deep dive and really get to know yourself. And remember, in order to get to know yourself, you must ask yourself questions that you do not know the answer to. And then a second part to that is also ask yourself, why do you struggle with the things that you struggle with? And you mentioned that earlier. So for an example, because we didn't dive into that one, but for an example for everyone, you know how we all have our pet peeves. And you'd be like, oh my God, that person got smart with me. Every time that person says something to me, I feel like they're getting smart with me. Okay, instead of feeling like they're getting smart with you, ask yourself, why is that bothering me? What is it about that person that I am struggling with? What is it about that person that is bothering me? If you can answer those two questions and you can work on that, because it's not something that you're going to have the answer to overnight. When we are trying to truly discover and rediscover who we are, we have to spend a lot of time with ourselves. We're going to go through those ups and downs with ourselves, but you want to invest that time in yourself. So think about it. Everybody, get up and go to work. Whether you're self-employed or you're working for someone else, you're investing your time into those individuals. So love yourself enough to invest that same amount of time into yourself and the quality that you invest into yourself. That would be my takeaway on this podcast for everyone. What's your thoughts, Roosevelt?

SPEAKER_01: 43:03

No, I think you think you're spot on. Um, I I'm not even gonna say too much because I know for a fact that what you just said was 100% true. So I don't want to water it down. So yeah, very true.

SPEAKER_00: 43:14

Okay. So I want to thank everyone for joining us for our very first podcast. There are definitely more to come. I am always available if anyone needs me. My social media handle is at IMTK Strickland. If anybody needs me, you can also email me at infotkstricklin.com. Please add your comments, feedback, whatever you have for us. Please make sure you subscribe. My YouTube is at coach TK Strickland. So definitely subscribe. Click the link to make sure every time a new podcast comes out, that it's at the top of your screen so you can check us out. And we will be seeing you soon. Thank you. Thank you for having me. You are welcome. Thank you. Thank you.